Its official – there are parts of us that are not in our own corner. In the clasp of depression this can show up as an internal voice or feeling that sabotages our efforts to make positive changes. It might be that heavy thick feeling of pain or it might be the voice telling you that ‘this isn’t working and you’ll never recover’. Many modern approaches to psychotherapy see the brain as made up of different systems or competing parts. In evolutionary psychology this model is called the modular mind. It’s even reflected in our language when we say ‘part of me wanted to do x’ or ‘I’m in two minds about y’. We even see it explored in literature like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Unfortunately, this layered network of different evolutionary stages can overreact, misfire or even turn on ourselves as the inner critic. These competing parts can have a large role in depression. So, what do we do to cope with this internal sabotage?
3. Talk to your self – I’ve mentioned the power of compassionate self-talk before on the blog. Just think of an endurance athlete and what they say to themselves in their heads to push through the pain and focus on their goals. In many ways this is a close replica of the depressed person. It is often an endurance event to get through the day. Use self-talk to both help concentration and motivation.
Emergency service drivers are taught to narrate their driving to help them concentrate when they are sleep deprived. You can do the same here: gently and kindly narrate what you are doing. Narrate each step and congratulate yourself when you achieve each step. Be the compassionate coach that Mary Welford describes.
There are studies that show that using self-talk can enhance your abilities in many areas, even finding lost items. So, use this skill to help you function when you are struggling. You can slow down the self-talk if you are struggling to concentrate, you can even talk to yourself out loud if you are in the right place for that. Its highly likely you will have the negative inner critic voice there as well, aim to have these voices running in parallel (rather than competing). Can you listen to your own positive, compassionate self-talk while the critic continues in the background? Can you focus more attention on the kind voice than the critic? It’s a skill that can be trained so it is unlikely to produce miracles right away, but give it time. You are strengthening this skill each time you try.
4. Dealing with rumination/negative thoughts – its widely acknowledged that negative ruminations feed depression. They will come up as you do BA. As in the point above try to let them be there as you focus on your kind self-talk and the actions you are taking. You might try to use the 3-minute breathing space from MBCT. Or you can label what you are feeling and remind yourself of your values (for example to be happy and health, to support and love others, to enjoy life etc).
Can you try to accept your negative thoughts and not fuel them with further rumination? Instead keep bringing your attention back to what you are doing and focusing on your goals. This is just like meditation; in the beginning of practice you need to keep returning your focus to your breath, until eventually you can stay focused on the breath while your negative thoughts float past in the background. The spotlight of attention is on what you are doing. The volume is turned up on thoughts that aid performance and the critic is turned down.
Also, choose some activities that help you break negative rumination cycles. Have an enjoyable and engaging book to hand, using the language systems of our brains can help to quieten the rumination cycles. Play fun computer games, do puzzles or sudoku, do sports, talk to people about things other than your ruminations. Even better, do activities outdoors with other people.
Why not give these tools a try and let me know what you think?
We will cover some tools in the next article which focus particularly on the emotional feelings that can challenge the BA process.